Hello, you fool. My name is Pablo Picasso. I am glad to be able to greet you in my own words. Thank you very much for stopping by Picasso's Palace. I'm sure that you are very curious as to the kind of man that I am. Well, I was born in 1907 in a small town called Springfield (I no longer remember what state). My earliest memories consist of my great-grandmother teaching me to dance the jig. She taught me my very first jig, the Fuknigers Jig, which she learned from her great-grandmother. Our family has a very deeply rooted sense of tradition.

I was not a very popular boy in high school. The only time that I received any attention at all from my fellow students is when they would call out my name, and if I turned around, point at me and laugh. It was very sad time for me. As I walked past my fellow students in the hallway, I would often be spat upon. I began to consider it a good day if the spit I was wearing did not contain any other foreign materials. I began to love to feel of good clean spit on the back of my head and it would make me smile on occasion. Often as I walked home from school, a group of painted men would jump out of the woods and beat me until was battered and bleeding. This happened almost once a week during my entire high school career. That is ok, though, because I did receive my revenge by often vomiting or forcing a bowel movement directly into my pants during class. It was good revenge, because I would get to leave the room, and the others would remain to smell and see my wrath. I have been taught to always fight back.

I never did go to college. I decided to enter the workforce right away. My first job was working at a doughnut stand. We would make these special doughnuts called Nigsalsuk's Specials. They were very good and contained a secret ingredent that remained unknown until the mofia began to shoot at the doughnut stand and demand that they know what it is. I was shot many times. I memorized the quickest running distance to the Bignoseblack Hospital and usually could make it in 3.2 minutes with several bullets impacted into my leg bones and a few upper chest wounds. I loved my job, every minute of it. And I loved my boss too. I wish I would have never taken that $15 from the mofia to shoot him in his sleep. Let me tell you, we all make mistakes in life.

After that, I moved to Florida. I bought one of these new things called a computer. It was an interesting tool. I then learned about a thing called the internet. There are many fun things that I learned could be done on the internet. From that time until this, I have been doing nothing all day (every day) except using the internet. It has made my life complete and I do not believe that I will ever spend a day doing otherwise.

Thank you again for stopping by. Please allow me to say goodbye in my own words. Have a great day!